The power of going separate and meeting again
There is something many couples feel but rarely say out loud.
We love each other.
And yet sometimes… we are tired.
Tired of trying to get it right.
Tired of unconsciously asking the other to give us something we don’t even fully understand ourselves.
Tired of working on the relationship while quietly losing connection to ourselves.
Underneath most relationship tension, there is often something very simple:
A longing for intimacy - REAL intimacy.
The kind of intimacy where you don’t have to perform, improve, seduce, or hold everything together.
And here is the uncomfortable truth: Your partner cannot give you what you have not reclaimed inside yourself.
Seeing, feeling and understanding this …
We have created something amazing around that
This October 1-9 in Spain, we are offering something new.
Two retreats.
At the same time.
In the same place.
Wo-Men Who See In The Dark
wo-MEN Who See In The Dark - a new creation in our program.
They run in parallel.
Separate journeys.
And then - a conscious meeting at the end.
And no, this is not a classic couple’s retreat - it’s actually not a couple’s retreat at all!
Instead of asking: How can we fix the relationship?
We ask: Who are you without the roles you play in it and therefore in daily life?
You don‘t need to be a couple but if you are …
It sounds counterintuitive.
But when partners grow separately, something powerful happens.
You stop performing your usual identity.
You stop being "the strong one" or "the emotional one" or "the grounded one."
You stop managing the other person’s process.
You get to meet yourself.
And from that place, love changes.
Research around differentiation in relationships shows that intimacy grows when two individuals stay connected while remaining themselves. Not merged. Not dependent. Not fused.
When you take responsibility for your own depth, your own shadow, your own tenderness - your partner no longer carries that weight.
Attraction returns.
Respect deepens.
Conversations become honest instead of reactive.
Love becomes a choice again.
woMEN Who See In The Dark
… is about remembering intimacy beyond seduction.
Many men have learned to chase connection through romance or sexuality, because that is where intimacy seems accessible.
But what most men actually crave is tenderness.
Brotherhood.
Honest connection without competition.
This is not self-improvement work or about becoming a better man.
It rather is dropping the masks you didn’t even know you were wearing.
Through daily darkroom meditation, embodiment, art, play, and radical honesty, men reconnect with each other - not to perform, not to compare - but to remember.
And when a man knows intimacy with other men, something shifts profoundly in how he meets women.
He no longer comes from lack.
A new chapter - WoMen who see in the dark.
WoMen Who See In The Dark is not about becoming more empowered, more spiritual, more conscious. It’s rather - more subtle - about taking off the subtle masks:
the good woman
the strong woman
the open woman
the one who holds everything
It is about meeting other women without comparison.
About remembering innocence in the body.
Softness without collapse.
Depth without drama.
There is something powerful that happens when women gather without being watched, chosen, or desired.
Something relaxes.
And from that relaxation, truth appears.
We feel this retreat is the beginning of a new layer in our work.
Less concept.
More honesty.
Less performance.
More presence.
The meeting
After seven days apart, men and women meet.
Not to impress or seduce or to fill something missing.
But to share.
"I don’t need you… but I would love to meet you."
For couples, this can be deeply transformative.
To see your partner:
after they have reclaimed parts of themselves
after they have bonded with their own gender
after they have softened into their own truth
You meet again differently.
Less dependency.
More choice.
Less projection.
More presence.
And for those coming alone, this meeting becomes something rare:
An encounter without hooks.
Just two humans, seeing each other clearly.
Many people who come to our longer retreats arrive on their own - even if they’re in relationship - because they sense that this kind of journey asks for full personal presence.
If you’re exploring this depth, you might feel drawn to:
MELT - for those ready to soften control and reconnect with embodied feeling
Black Butterfly - for those willing to meet shadow, desire, and truth over time
Sometimes courage looks like going together.
Sometimes it looks like going alone.
Both can lead you home.
Who Is This For?
Come as a couple who feel there is more possible, willing to grow individually instead of trying to change each other.
For individuals who are done scratching the surface.
Be aware: this path is not always comfortable.
Dropping roles can feel disorienting.
Meeting yourself without your usual strategies can feel vulnerable.
But what waits underneath is simple:
Tenderness. Honesty. Fullness.
Two retreats. One shared field.
WoMen Who See In The Dark
woMEN Who See In The Dark
Oct 1-9 | Spain
Separate journeys.
A new way of meeting.
Maybe the most loving thing you can do for your relationship
is to step away from it for a few days -
and then return, more yourself than before.
If you feel the call, you probably already know.
If you want to read more around going together or separate to a retreat as a couple read our last blogpost
