Many people hesitate to go on a retreat alone - especially if they’re in a partnership. But research and real experiences show that both solo and couple retreats offer unique benefits.

What matters most is not whether you come with someone - but what you’re ready to engage with inside.

Why people go on retreats alone: A deeper dive

Solo retreats are powerful precisely because they create space free from external expectations and roles (which you are usually still in if you come with a partner)

The effects:

Reduced stress and clearer mental space - removing the noise of daily demands allows the nervous system to slow down and reset.
Enhanced emotional regulation - space alone helps people face emotions that are often distracted in daily life.
Greater self-awareness - solitude fosters reflection and deeper personal insight.

Participants in solo retreats often describe greater clarity, better sleep, and a reset of priorities and inner priorities within just a few days.

This doesn’t mean solo retreats are easy - the first day of stillness can feel restless, but that restlessness is part of the work.

The benefits of going as a couple

Retreating with a partner can be deeply meaningful. It can:

Strengthen connection - shared experiences outside daily obligations create space to see each other freshly.
Support mutual growth - working through challenges together can deepen trust.
Echo teamwork - for some, doing inner work together can catalyze relational healing.

Even online discussions among meditators note that couple retreats can be beneficial when both partners are aligned in intention and practice.

But - and this is important to know -: couples may also find the experience challenging if one person engages with emotional material differently - and retreat integration may require additional processing together afterward.

Why solo can be especially transformative

Going alone isn’t about loneliness - it’s about full presence with your inner world. Without the familiar safety net of “us,” your nervous system and psyche are invited to respond differently. There’s less co-regulation and more self-regulation - which deepens:

Independence in emotional processing
Clarity around personal boundaries
Autonomy in intention and insight
Discovery of unfiltered desires and fears

People often report that when they return to their relationship after a solo retreat, they bring a clearer sense of self into the partnership. This can enrich connection rather than detract from it.

Doing retreats together - when it works best

For couples, retreat work can become a shared language:

when intentions are aligned
when both people are committed to inner work
when there’s openness to communicate afterward

Shared retreat experiences can either reinforce connection or highlight areas for deeper individual integration - both outcomes can be profoundly valuable.

The important thing is NOT: solo vs. couple - but presence

Whether you go alone or together, what matters most is:

your willingness to be present
your openness to discomfort and insight
your intention to transform, not escape

Retreats are not vacations - they are personal thresholds. Some people cross them best on their own. Others cross them hand-in-hand. Both paths can lead to growth - just in different ways.

Going solo often amplifies internal clarity, self-regulation, emotional processing, and deep personal insight.
Going as a couple can offer shared growth, mutual support, and powerful relational reflection when intentions truly align.

Both paths are valid.
Both can be transformative.

What matters most isn’t whether you arrive alone or together - but your willingness to meet yourself honestly. To stay present with what arises. To listen to what wants to change.

If you’re curious about why longer retreat experiences deepen this process even further, we recommend reading our companion article:

👉 Read the blogpost

Many people who come to our longer retreats arrive on their own - even if they’re in relationship - because they sense that this kind of journey asks for full personal presence.

If you’re exploring this depth, you might feel drawn to:

MELT - for those ready to soften control and reconnect with embodied feeling
Black Butterfly - for those willing to meet shadow, desire, and truth over time

Sometimes courage looks like going together.
Sometimes it looks like going alone.
Both can lead you home.

Solo or together? How retreat dynamics shape transformation