We see the phrase “safe space” everywhere - in classrooms, retreats, yoga studios and all over social media. Having our own view on this term we often ask: what do they actually mean by “safe”? Can anyone promise that? Or is it more honest to talk about spaces that are safer or braver? We think:

We have to talk about this!

The term “safe space” has origins not many know of …

“Safe space” first appeared in the LGBTQ+ movement of the 1960s. It was a literal refuge: a bar, a home, a meeting room where people could gather without fear of harassment. Feminist circles later adopted it and eventually universities and workplaces began using the term too.

Over time, the meaning shifted. Today, it’s often shorthand for “a place where everyone feels comfortable.” But here’s the rub: comfort and safety aren’t the same thing. Growth often requires discomfort - but it shouldn’t require harm.

What facilitators can do

No facilitator can guarantee safety for anyone. Each person carries their own history, identity, and nervous system. What facilitators can do is take responsibility for creating an environment that allows growth in a healthy way:

Be clear about purpose, scope, and expectations
Create accessibility and inclusion from the start (access needs, room setup)
Offer choice: the right to pass, or to step out
Set confidentiality agreements and name their limits
Co-create agreements for how we’ll treat each other
Have a plan to respond and repair if harm happens

This isn’t about promising perfection. It’s about showing up with transparency and accountability.

The nervous system side

Even with all that, two people in the same space might feel very different levels of safety. That’s because safety isn’t only external - it lives in the body. Polyvagal Theory teaches that our nervous system constantly scans for danger or safety cues (a process called neuroception). When it perceives safety, we connect and learn. When it perceives threat, we shut down or react, even if no “real” danger is present.

This is why one person may love group sharing, while another feels their chest tighten just thinking about it. Feeling safety isn’t universal.

Why “safe space” can mislead

When we declare “this is a safe space,” we risk three things:

Raising expectations we can’t possibly meet
Equating safety with comfort - when real learning often feels uncomfortable
Overlooking the different needs, realities and traumas people bring with them

That’s why many communities now speak of “safer spaces” or “brave spaces.” These terms emphasize two truths: harm reduction is ongoing work, and showing up fully often takes courage.

An attempt for a more honest definition

Here’s the definition we’ve landed on:

A safer or brave space is a purpose-built environment that reduces foreseeable harm through clear design choices and accountable facilitation, while recognizing that felt safety ultimately lives in the individual nervous system. It’s not about avoiding discomfort, but about ensuring care, choice, and repair.

So, can anyone truly promise a safe space?

NO. But facilitators can commit to safer conditions, and participants can nurture a safer space within themselves. When these two come together, something powerful happens: courage feels possible, and growth can unfold without overwhelm.

What does a “safe space” really mean?